On Motherhood: What Makes a Mother?

"Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother." ~Oprah Winfrey

Motherhood is a tough job.

Many women think that carrying a child for nine months and childbirth are the hardest parts. That cannot be further from the truth. The real journey begins as soon as mother and child leave the hospital. That's when a woman really learns about herself and what she is capable of as a person and as a mother. She will find that not only does motherhood require the physical demands of breastfeeding, late or even sleepless nights, carrying and rocking, changing diapers, and constant crying; but it also requires patience, resilience, compassion, courage, persistence, empathy, humor, open-mindedness, sacrifice, self-control, attention, lots of hugs and kisses, and most of all, unconditional love. Without the emotional aspect, a woman is just a mother in biological terms. It takes much more than biology to be a real mother.

The biological make up of a child from each parent is just the surface. That's all the "technical" stuff that needed to exist in order for conception to occur.  But like what Oprah said, biology is the least of what makes a mother. If a mother does not forge an emotional bond early on in her child's life, or even at all, chances are, the relationship between them later in life may be unstable. Children know when they are not receiving a mother's full heart. Children are highly affected by our emotions and feelings because they feed off of our energies, just as we do with each other. That's a fact.

Human beings are emotional and feeling beings. If we were without emotions, we would just be robots roaming through life. Children who don't have an emotional bond with their mothers often grow up to be bitter, irritable, emotionless, and mean. Feelings of insecurity and inadequacy are common as well. They may be deemed as "emotionally unavailable" later in their adult relationships. Children need lots of hugs and kisses, nurturing, positive words, and smiles and laughter in order to grow into healthy, highly functional individuals.

I have always had a close relationship with my mom, although it was not without some rocky moments during my tumultuous teenage years. But that's pretty normal. Through it all, though, my mom has always been there for me. I believe that it was her nurturing and unconditional love that has solidified our bond.

Now that I have children of my own, I see even more how important the bond between mother and child is and why it must exist in order to develop a well-rounded child. My daughter is very affectionate. She is so nurturing with her dolls when she cares for them. I'd like to say that I have something to do with that. I also notice how loving my step-children are when I give them attention, positive words, and hugs, things that they lack in their biological mother's household. When they are there every other week, my step-children get yelled at and reprimanded almost everyday. Although their mother provides them with their basic needs such as a roof over their heads, food, and clothing, she hardly spends quality time with them. By the time the kids come back to their father and me, they are tired, frustrated yet relieved to be with us. We make sure ours is a home with lots of hugs and kisses.

With that said, I hope that mothers realize how important it is to be emotionally there for their kids. Moms are usually the nurturers, and it is our responsibility to provide our children with such love.

On Children: My Daughter Is My Inspiration

"While we try to teach our children about life, our children teach us what life is all about." ~Angela Schwindt

I see life with new eyes through that of my three-year-old daughter Gianna. Her world is one big happy playground and every experience is filled with laughter and excitement. Although it's such a chore to change her clothes or give her a bath because she thinks it's all fun and games, I can't help but admire her playfulness. Not a care in the world. It's so refreshing to watch her play, absolutely oblivious to life's craziness and what lies ahead.

The more time I spend with Gianna, the more I realize how petty my worries are. Before she was born, I worried about a lot of things. Money, health, work, relationships. The ones that plagued me the most were my fears and insecurities. I still struggle with them but raising a child has helped me put things in perspective. Life is hard and it may even seem unfair at times, but at the end of the day, all my worries dissolve just by the sight of my daughter. No matter how her day was, she always has a smile on her face and has the energy and the heart to run toward me with open arms when I come home from work. How can I allow my trivial insecurities to ruin such happiness?

As we get older, we tend to forget the value and beauty of life. We take our blessings for granted as we get caught up in the chaos of the daily grind. We don't intentionally do this, but most of the time, our responsibilities and priorities take us away from what was once the center of our lives before we grew up: living for the moment. And that is what Gianna and our children do. They live in the moment, soaking in their experiences with great tenacity. Because they are not yet poisoned by obligations, they have the hearts to live life to the fullest. That is exactly what grown-ups need to do. Stop for a moment, breathe in the moment, and live life to the fullest in that very moment. We forget that the glass in not only half-empty, but half-full as well, and half-full is all we need to appreciate where we are now, just as our kids do.

My Quotable Moments

I love quotes! Throughout my life, I have used quotes to motivate and encourage myself, especially when things got rough or life got too hard. Quotes reassured me that there are other people out there who feel the same way and are going through the same things I am. It is as if their quotes were speaking directly to me.

The reason for this blog is to share my favorite quotes with others and the meanings they have for me. I enjoy writing about how quotes apply to life and how they speak to me.

So please, feel free to sit back, relax, and enjoy some inspirational medicine! And if you have a quote that has helped you in your life, I would love it if you share it with me.

By the way, many of the quotes that I will write about I have found on the Quote Garden website.

Happy quoting!